Thinking and waiting

waiting to see if tabi is gunna call to hangout with bailey and I, idk if she will, if not owell.
Thinking about some stuff lately.I don't really know what I'm doing, or if it is healthy at all.I guess Im afriad to be led on?Its hard liking someone who has someone already, the last time I did that was with cristina, and she broke up with her boyfriend of a year to date me.I wouldn't expect anyone to do something like that, cause I would be afraid of it happening to me. I would want there to be a big fight and then a break up. It just seems I always end up falling for people who are taken and it sucks. I don't expect someone to break up with their significant other to date someone else. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just afriad to be alone. or if I just have bad luck.

I feel really bad, and I just hope Im not making a complete fool out of myslef, although I have a strong feeling that I'am, and I really don't like it. It actually makes my tummy hurt. I don't know what to really think anymore. Im the kind of person that goes with my feelings. and I think it hurts me more than I would think sometimes. I don't like thinking that Im making an idiot out of myself, because I have a strong genuin care for someone, and I just don't know. I won't stop talking to the person until Im sure that there is no chance in hell that it will happen.
Im addicted to that nervous butterfly feeling you get with a crush. And just the feeling of someone caring about you...I haven't felt that In a long time. I haven't really felt like anyone cares..like im just someone to walk on or a good fuck and then im out like a bag of trash. But I guess I put myself in the situation, so whatever happeneds I'm going to have to deal with...
well my stomach hurts now..blahh